If only I'd known how to appreciate the gift of sex sooner in my life. For those who read my bestseller, THE RAPE OF INNOCENCE, you know that my sex life started without my permission and grew in ignorance. Nevertheless, I am grateful that I learned eventually.

I won't make this a soapbox thing, but in a very humorous way, let's look at the theory of buying the cow when you can milk it anytime you want for free. It's been said in a million different ways that men love a challenge and because they use logic, it's hard for them to appreciate anything that comes too easily... like, well... um... your body. (There, I said it.)

Now let's talk turkey (or chicken for those who don't like turkeys.) Here's what men think. If I was able to sleep with this woman without making any kind of real commitment, then who else has? How many others? Who else can while I am? They wonder about our level of respect for ourselves when we are setting it out there on date 1, 2, 3, 4 or even 10. We think we can play the wait game and make him wait a month or two, etc. But if you let him have your body before making a firm commitment, he'll lose respect for you on some level. Now some guys still marry the women that gave it up on the first date, but then you have to wonder about those kind of men too.

Let's reverse this for a second and this is going to get graphic but some stuff needs to be said... (pray I don't lose my ordination behind this... LOL)

When I was out in the streets, I always felt uncomfortable with a man if I did decide to sleep with him and he didn't reach for a condom. If I had to request it, then I would normally change my mind about him. Why? Because if he's that careless with me, who else has he been careless with? What could he be carrying and not know it.

Want another blatant example?

The issue of oral sex is big now. It's no longer embarrassing to do it and talk about it. You know we have matured so much (yeah right) that we put all our business out there on front street now. Not to help others, but just because we do. If you look at marriage as a goal, a ceremony to be celebrated, then you know it has to have gifts that come along with it. But if you've already given up your female parts, your mouth and Lord knows what else, then what exactly are you gifting when you marry? Again, when I was in the world and doing worldly things, if a man's immediate reaction was to perform oral sex on the first encounter, then there was no way in the world he was ever going to put his lips on mine. I just couldn't fathom. Now most people call me old fashioned now and even weird about stuff like that. They say I think too much. But it pays to think before jumping into the sack with someone.

Don't give up too much too soon. Be patient and let your relationships develop without sex. Otherwise, you may wake up one day hating yourself. You may wake up to someone you don't really know and don't really care for after the thrill is gone.

Don't give up too much of your heart too soon either. Learn about each other and see what can be before carelessly leaping into the fire. It just might be too hot for you.

2 comments:

Janice said...

Girl, you went THERE!!!!!!!!! OMG
Sex is so natural that its easy to get caught up and hence people think you should be able to do whatever you feel when you feel like it. I used to think that anyway

Vicky Warren said...

Many young ladies have lost the value of courtship. While I wasn't perfect as a young lady myself, I was blessed to have parents that taught me not to sleep around. Parents used to actually spend time on teaching children how to view themselves. I am always a little thrown back when I volunteer at schools and see how some of the young girls dress. Thank you for saying what you said.

Our men and women need more respect for their bodies.

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