I won't lie, I'd given up on this idea. It was burning hot in me one moment and then it died out. I mean, maybe it was a novelty idea. I guess for a long while I lost interest. After all, I was happily married and didn't think I'd ever walk down the aisle again.

Well as I'm planning my fourth marriage, way too many if you ask me, I realize this book is still needed. No one is trying to be Elizabeth Taylor. lol So this blog and this book are definitely going to happen. YAY!
Boy, how time flies! Even more ironic is how time can completely change your mind about some things. I'm definitely going to do this book, but the perspective I take will be totally different. Stay tuned in to this blog for more exciting and regular posts.
So sad to admit or even to say, but many women are losing their self-respect and dignity because they have determined to be with someone through any means necessary. That might mean sex before marriage, or putting up with infidelity, or putting up with a host of other horrible personality issues such as laziness, criminal behavior, disrespect or even abuse. But here is the flipside to that compromise.

After we've kissed our dignity goodbye and lost respect for ourselves, and after we've embraced a person who is unhealthy for us, and after we've done all we can to make a bad relationship tolerable, then we realize we are still unhappy. We are still lost, hurting, lonely and miserable. And in that anger, we blame the men in our lives rather than taking responsibility for allowing them into our lives in the first place. And the cycle keeps repeating and repeating until we either give up or learn better.

Don't compromise anything that makes you who you are. Don't lower your standards of living for a companion. Don't deprive yourself of respect and dignity. Don't lose yourself for the sake of a relationship you think will make you happier. How could it if it is no longer a healthy you in it? Relationships must consist of two healthy people or they will most likely end with two unhappy people.
Sometimes, we envy the wrong things in others' relationships and make unfair comparisons in relationships that we would despise if the shoe flipped to the other foot. We compare our man to the men in other people's lives or from our past.

It isn't fair to compare your boyfriends to one another. Past is past and though it can seem like in hindsight you messed up for walking away, truthfully, something wasn't right somewhere or you'd still be in that same relationship. It isn't fair to manipulate and con each other by pretending to be someone you aren't. And we play all these games in the beginning which is the best time to be honest. Later, when you discover the truth about one another, the love fades because whatever bond was there was built off a lie, whether one you told or one you acted out.

Marriage is lovely and beautiful, but don't desire it so much that you want to play games like the movie, Two Can Play that Game. That was a movie and nothing about what happened was cute. It's not cute to play with other people's heart. So my point, when dating, let's just be honest.
Part of finding love on your own terms is knowing yourself. And let's just be honest, as women we feel the need to bend and mold to others all day long, from family to jobs to boyfriends. So, it's easy with all that bending to get bent out of shape and lose yourself.

When it comes to dating and marriage, the best advice I've ever seen was in the movie, The Runaway Bride. She'd lost herself and unfortunately it was always right before nuptials that she would wake up and realize that maybe this was a mistake. She didn't even know how she liked her own eggs. Finally though, she got the courage to learn those things about herself without a man and then let the man come into her life.

Take Julia Roberts' advice. Learn yourself single before you commit to marriage with anyone.
Men don't view women like we view one another. In fact, the things we spend the most time on are the things that satisfy and are pleasing to other women. Men are not that hard to please.

I remember someone one of my brothers told me. He said when a man is ready to marry, the primary things he desire in a woman is her sweetness, her ability to cook and run a home, her ability to mind her own business and keep her mouth shut about family life, her ability and willingness to make love to him, and be a great mom to his children. He said, "We don't need all the nails and expensive hairdos. We could care less rather you can walk in 2 or 3 inch heels. Men are logical creatures and we want a woman that fits us with minimal upkeep required."

How's that for advice? LOL!
I have about five completed chapters worth of writing done for this book, Always the Bride. I'm so pleased with how it's turning out, but it will be an ebook only. Eventually though, I'm going to turn my ebooks into regular, printed books. I love having both available to my readers.

I plan to eventually get into audio books, but one step at a time, eh?