Sometimes, we envy the wrong things in others' relationships and make unfair comparisons in relationships that we would despise if the shoe flipped to the other foot. We compare our man to the men in other people's lives or from our past.
It isn't fair to compare your boyfriends to one another. Past is past and though it can seem like in hindsight you messed up for walking away, truthfully, something wasn't right somewhere or you'd still be in that same relationship. It isn't fair to manipulate and con each other by pretending to be someone you aren't. And we play all these games in the beginning which is the best time to be honest. Later, when you discover the truth about one another, the love fades because whatever bond was there was built off a lie, whether one you told or one you acted out.
Part of finding love on your own terms is knowing yourself. And let's just be honest, as women we feel the need to bend and mold to others all day long, from family to jobs to boyfriends. So, it's easy with all that bending to get bent out of shape and lose yourself.
When it comes to dating and marriage, the best advice I've ever seen was in the movie, The Runaway Bride. She'd lost herself and unfortunately it was always right before nuptials that she would wake up and realize that maybe this was a mistake. She didn't even know how she liked her own eggs. Finally though, she got the courage to learn those things about herself without a man and then let the man come into her life.
